Tales from the looney bin aka The worst job on Earth

Can you imagine what it's like being the dude that has to push Michael Jackson around in a wheelchair ... for kicks and giggles. He'd be better off using his skillset in a real mental health facility and not at Michael Jacksons Neverland Ranch (aka The Crazy Factory).

OK. It's July 15, 2008. We can all openly admit that Michael Jackson is lunatic. It's official.

Da Brat you have a call on Line 1

  

Someone call Da Brat.  Mariah need more friends.  Her mind is slipping with no meds or friends in sight.

     

According to Fox News, Mariah really did lose her mind (again) and has become "hemmed up" in a marriage situation with Nick Canon aka Nick Jr.   See ... sigh ... I thought her album was selling well?  She's looking fabulous.  She's like the biggest selling female artist since ... well ... ever.  Live performances are marginally improved.  I mean ... I'm really not understanding why she needed to marry a former Nick Jr. star for publicity.   Not now.  Not yet.  And Not HIM!   This is so not a publicity stunt worthy for a diva like Mariah.  There's no rhyme or reason to her craziness.  Then again ... this is Mariah Carey otherwise known as the near 40 year old cougar that still collects butterflies and rainbows.  I can't think of many reasons for this stunt, given that she's already released her new album and it's doing fairly well ... but I tried:

   

1.   She needed to find a way ... any way ... to compete with that other cougar on the charts, Madonna.

   

2.   She's greedy.  Her album didn't sell 3million copies the first week, so the marketing campaign needed a boost.

   

3.    She needed to align herself with a media friendly character after she flashed out on her background singer during that hot mess of a performance on Good Morning America.

   

4.  She became jealous of the Bey-Z wedding.

   

5.   Her bio clock is ticking and ... Nick Jr. is nice and ... well ... she's ain't getting no younger, might as well do this.

   

  

And didn't Nick Jr. recently end his publicity stunt of an engagement to Selita Eubanks?  It's not working Nick.   Go back to Christina Milian ... now y'all can use each other.  

   

Mariah, this is so not effective and ill timed.  She really needed to enlist a bigger star for this stunt.  Perhaps she should divorce Nick and marry P. Diddy.  Now that would be news.  

   

Da Brat please put the blunt down and handle this.

   

   

    

Bye Remy

A witness testified that he saw Remy Ma approach shooting victim, Mekeda Barnes Joseph, with a .45 caliber handgun. The witness stated that he saw Remy exit her vehicle with the handgun, cock the gun and then jumped into Joseph's car. He heard a "pop" moments later, then he saw Remy leaving the car.

Remy can face up to 25 years in prison if convicted. Her defense attorney has labeled the incident as a tragic accident. He states that the gun went off accidentally while Remy and Mekeda struggled over the gun.

I don't know about you, but that makes total sense to me. If a chick jumps in my car with a gun, there will be a struggle and someone will probably get shot. I blame the person carrying the gun.

Hopefully she won't have to share a cell with Foxy. That would be cruel and unusual. She can go ahead and start deweaving now ... because where she's going she doesn't want to look too fabulous (if that's even possible).

* pours some likka for Remy's freedom papers *

Source: USA Today

Clearly Woody didn't get the memo

OK, clearly someone forgot to tell Woody that the purpose for Dru Hill's interview with 92Q FM was to announce the reunion of the original group. Nokio, Jazz, Woody, and Sisqo showed up to 92Q FM to announce their reunion. They let Woody speak during the brief interview (first mistake) and Woody starts rambling about something kinda "crazy", as usual ... it's been a while, but I remember him being a lil' "special". Then, Woody reveals that he was happy to see the guys and to reunite with the guys .... ... in spirit ... Because he was called by God and he feels that the 'grupe' doesn't need him, so he can continue to do what God called him to 'dew', which is preach the gospel.

Then, it turns into a scene from BET College Hill without the stillettos and blood. Sisqo storms out of the room hollering "you could've told us this yesterday!". Then Nokio decides to get gully with some (pretend) fight moves. He even had people holding him back (gently). Then, we pan to Sisqo in the parking lot throwing a bitch fit in his Range Rover. The "scene" ends with someone screaming something at Sisqo truck as it burns rubber out of the parking lot ... it sounded like they said "YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE DRIVING!. CTFU! Let me find out Sisqo is driving with an expired license.

Within 10 full minutes, Dru Hill re-united, then re-broke up. Hilarity. I blame them ... They should know that they have to spell things out a little differently for Woody.

Snoop gives parenting advice to JLo

The world is upside down when Snoop is giving parenting advice. Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez recently gave birth to twins. Snoops advice?

“One baby at a time. She’s going to have a good time with it. Babies are
beautiful, especially having two at one time. Ever since I was a youngster, I was a hustler. I sold newspapers, candy, I was always out of the house trying to make money, so I commend any kid that tries to go get something in life, whether he’s trying to wash cars or pump gas or help ladies to their cars with their groceries. Any sort of hustle is what I push on a kid because it shows a sign that you want to be something in life.”

OK, first it's too late for "one baby at a time" ... she had twins. And secondly, what da hell does Snoop know about the special beauty of having twins? Thirdly, he know damned well Jenny-Lo-Lo's kids won't be hustling newspapers & candy, their bedrooms already cost more than most folks houses.

Grade: D+ to OK! Magazine for asking Snoop to give parenting advice.


Source: OK! Magazine

Tracey to Johnny "We know the truth"

On February 25, Johnny Gill conducted an interview with the Doug Banks Show to discuss his sexuality and the rumors surrounding his relationship with Eddie Murphy. Apparently Johnny is hurt that y'all think he is gay. * rolls eyes * He says that he is not gay, he's hurt by the accusations and that he would take a lie detector test to prove that he's not gay. You know what ... He should've left it at "I'm not gay" because the lie detector test is making him look extra gay right now.


I digress ... Johnny also spoke about the rumored drama with Eddie Murphy's mother Lillian and Tracey Edmonds-almost-Murphy during the 'spirtual wedding'. Johny told the Doug Banks show that:

"One of Tracey's guests said some things that were inappropriate that triggered
everything with the mom, and that's how it all started"

I'm wondering what the guest said ... probably something like "why is Johnny Gill wailing in the back pew?"


Well, Tracey is pissed. She couldn't call into the Banks show due to a gag order that she signed with Eddie Murphy ... interesting ... wonder how much ransom she received to sign said gag order ... I digress ... her people have released a statement on her behalf. She responds:

"I was very shocked and disappointed to hear of Johnny Gill's false spin on the
chain of events surrounding our wedding. His outrageous lies were clearly a very
desperate and pathetic attempt to clean up his reputation at my expense. I would
appreciate it if Mr. Gill would refrain from continuing to spread false gossip
and lies to the public, and allow everyone involved to move on with their lives.
We all know the real truth."

I'm kinda mad that she's still referring to this as a wedding. I'm thinking that the real truth is that Johnny Gill showed his ass at this 'spritual ceremony' because after all these years ... why does he need to come out and discuss his sexuality NOW? I know why ... because he showed his entire ass at the pretend-wedding and he knows that one of the guests is subject to talk about it.




Johnny sings the Wedding song:



Source: EurWeb

Rihanna Finds Her Calling in Life

Rihanna got her legs insured for a million dollars. They caught her in the pic above doing what she does best…. standing….and not singing. At least she’s good at something. She does have style. Bow Wow should give his purse to her, she’d look better with it. Rihanna also has her own line of umbrellas to be sold at Macy’s. She milking the hell out of that song….