So disrespectful ...

Faith Hill really need to focus. She's making the news for going off on a fan for grabbing her husband's balls. You can't even make this stuff up.


Seriously Faith ... ask yourself ... how did a fan get 'that' close to your husband's balls? And what kind of a bitch-made-man is he that he can't speak up for his own balls! This publicity stunt is just disrespectful ... to me, to you, to my grandma, and to all men. Tim McGraw get your girl, 'man up' and protect your own balls please.

Madness.

Old News is now new news: Publicity Whore of the Day

Publicity Whore of the Day: Star Jones

The world is upside down. Star Jones has official made old news, new news. Clearly it's a slow news day when Star Jones announces that she had gastric bypass surgery and it actually makes the news. Her reason for lying all of these years:

"...the complete truth is, I was scared of what people might think of me," she continues. "I was afraid to be vulnerable, and ashamed ..." - Associated Press

Star ... this is the complete truth? The whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God? You sure about that? You expect us to believe that the woman that married Gay Al is scared of what people might think of her? Aren't you the same woman that hijacked wedding favors from The View sponsors? What about the Star & Al wedding website? You don't seem like the type to easily get scared or ashamed.

Congratulations Star Jones! You are officially the Publicity Whore of the Day. You actually made old news, new news.

Introducing the Royal Court

Introducing the Royal Court

These are your Ultimate Publicity Whores. They have one motto and one motto only "any publicity is good publicity". They're constantly thinking for new & improved ways to get some light. They're like the crackheads of publicity: standing on the corners at all 'times of night' ... just waiting for a hit of something ... anything ... to keep that light shining ... they'll even suc ... well ... let me just start with Ultimate Publicity Whore #1:

1.

Supahead ... I refuse to call you by your government name because IMO Supahead is the best name for you. I think you should do porn ... full time. Don't talk about it ... be about it. Just be ig'nant with the whoring ... stop writing books (no one is reading) ... and start video taping (even secretely) some of these encounters. Cus the tell all concept is threw ... even Miss Jones has a tell all book ... Hell, I can probably do a tell all book ... somebody might want to know that I slept with the Head Manager at Jiffy Lube back in the day ... j/k ... maybe ... but seriously ... no one cares anymore Supa. You writing about being a whore is like most people writing about breathing. It doesn't need to be said or written. But if you have secretely taped footage ... you might extend your 15 mintues by like 30 seconds.

2 More words: Eddie Winslow ... you know you're a whore when you're using Eddie Winslow for publicity. Stop the madness.

2.

Ray J is now on Ultimate Publicity Whore status.

OK dude ... if ya gonna release a sex tape ... I'mma need you to take some enhancement pills ... and BRING IT ... Mandingo style. You should be swinging pipe all over that bedroom ... that mess put me to sleep and I don't even watch that much porn. Please ... don't be releasing no boring @ss porno with some random starlet from the D list. At least get a B level star to do porn with ... and really bring it ... I mean R.Kelly straight PEED on a chick ... he took it there ... next level dude ... next level.

Ray J, Two words ... Whitney Houston. Two more words ... Lil Kim. Two more words ... Crack Kills. 'Plain dis ... how you go from Kim K. in a porn snoozer to so-called 'screwing' Whitney Houston (1,000 years older than you) ... to boning the Cat Lady (aka Lil' Kim). Jeez ... you can't find a better chick to publicity whore wit ... from a D-list star with fake tits & ass ... to a legendary singer in the throws of a crack addiction ... to ... a washed up, felon with a plastic surgery addiction. Step Yo Game Up Dude. Jeez.

3.

P Diddy aka Puff Daddy aka P Shitty: Soooo ... now that you've announced your seperation with Kim Porter ... you're suddenly advertising for a new assistant? Stop the madness ... like we should believe that Farnsworth Bentley was a real butler? I'm sure he served 'your needs' ... but stop advertising for tender young men and pretending like you're gonna put them to work. Call it what it is ... a buddy ... a sex slave ... or sex associate ... whatever ... stop using the media to recruit ass.

Eternally Trapped

R.Kelly: Unless there's a subpoena waiting in one of those closets we do not need to be subjected to another 50,000 episodes of Trapped in the Closet. Don't do it man. For the love of all that's good and holy, just say no.

prays

Life 101: How Much Water Should You Drink?

Kelly Rowland

: Bless your heart ... you passed out on stage ... just fell over ... and crickets ... that was a wasted faint ... especially when your girl Beyonce upstages you one week later by diving face first down 16 flights of stage stairs. And Beyonce had a costume to match her pretend faint. And she didn't need a lame @ss dehydration excuse either (that's so 90's BTW). All she had was her weave, her cape and some nerve.

Here's a tip ... 3 words ... Drink some water. It's 2007, a woman of your means does not need to be passing out behind dehydration. I know Aquafina is basically tap water ... but that's better than nothing.

At least if you're gonna pass out again ... wear a cape like Beyonce.

Summer Madness

Don't you get tired of celebrities using the "publicity stunt" to sell albums, books, movies, clothing etc.? Someone needs to send all celebrities a memo that the "publicity stunt" is a tired concept. Just do a press release. Or better yet ... make your marketing team do some actual work. It's starting to get insulting. It's like EVERYTHING on television is one big publicity stunt.

composing and sending a memo to the following

1. Usher Raymond - stop the madness ... Ne-Yo, Chris & Lloyd didn't need this much drama to release a rekkid.

2. Laurie Ann aka Boom Kat - stop the madness. Please just dance. I really need you to focus ... no singing ... only dancing ... and keep it low key. Call Fatima for tips.

3. Diddy & Kim - stop the madness. Kim ain't going anywhere ... voluntarily? Please stop.

4. Eddie Murphy & garden-variety-tranny-looking-chicks - stop the madness b4 Johnny starts burning your clothes in the driveway.

5. Paris, Linsey & Nicole - stop the madness, drinking and driving b4 one of you b!tches kill someone ... you only have like 2 more "cute" years (Paris your time been up) ... just party and play cute ... and stay off the roads.

6. Ja Rule - even getting arrested will not help ressurect your career ... stop the madness. You have to actually serve some real time to impress most. Like 5 - 10 (that's years, not months).

7. Foxy Brown - failed publicity stunt after failed publicity stunt ... b!tch please ... somebody gonna whupp yo @ss if you keep it ... wait .. didn't you recently get your @ss whupped by gang of prostitutes? Stop the madness. Your career is over. You've already gotten arrested, assaulted a harmless weave saleslady, gone deaf, and was beaten by a gang of prostitutes ... what's next ... are you going blind next Foxy?